Since the last post I have been wanting to write this for over a week now. Unfortunately I have been so busy or exhausted that I have just not had the energy. Tonight I can not go to sleep without sharing this. So here it is:
When I was drinking and life wasn't going so great I was very quick to despair & give up. I was always the pessimist. If I had no money, I would figure that I could spend the last few dollars on alcohol and borrow some from somewhere. I was never responsible. I just figured someone would rescue me.
Here's the difference: for the past month things have been very tight financially and I was getting really worried about how I would survive supporting two children full time. I knew things would turn around, I just didn't know when or how. I tried to keep optimistic and not let it bother me too much. The worry was not all consuming as it may have been in the past. I was busy looking at alternative solutions instead of wallowing. Sure, I was stressed, but I did not let it get me to the point of no return.
Like a lot of things in recovery, it's been a bit of a roller coaster, but sure enough things have turned around greatly in my favor and I'm now facing the daunting task of budgeting & being responsible (an alcoholic's nightmare!)
Mostly I just want to thank people who have left comments, emailed or tweeted me with words of encouragement and support. The faith you have in me has lead to a great faith that I not only have in myself but an actual belief in myself that pushes me to keep on the path of recovery.
You've been a huge inspiration to me. Yours was the first site I visited when I got sober!
ReplyDeleteIt is always worthwhile checking in here to see you coming along so well.
ReplyDeleteKeep working hard, you know how much better life is!
It's great when we can finally start seeing that what we hear - "Things will be so much better than you can ever imagine" - finally start to come true isn't it? And oh man...budgeting and being responsible...this is one of the scariest things for me in sobriety. I'm like teaching a 10 year old because I've NEVER had to do this before! Crazy!
ReplyDeleteIm a new reader and already inspired by your story. Dont give up and there is always a way !
ReplyDeleteHey hi, hope the roller coaster has smoothed out a bit in the last few days. How are you going with your budgeting? I became a budgeting freak a few years back when we really had to tighten things up. Meal plans are my new best friend, getting very organized with food has saved me loads of money spent at the supermarket, dairy, cafes etc. I even plan after school snacks and weekend brunches in my weekly shop. My main trick is to try and buy NO FOOD outside of my Wednesday shop. You get better and better at planning before each shop as the weeks go by. Sending you love from NZ my sober friend! xxx
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ReplyDeleteThank you and keep up the great work!! :)